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Friday 13th October 2006 was the day I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer so as you can imagine I am not happy about today I narrowly avoided walking under a ladder outside a shop this morning… and as you all have read about before I am now separated from my husband after 22 years and its Valentine’s Day tomorrow!.

How do I approach this weekend? Its not really my style to hide and feel sorry for myself so I am feeling much more fight than flight today. I have been out for a refreshing (or freezing depends how you look at it!) 7 mile bike ride this morning, I have bought myself my own flowers and this year got what I like and Fifty Shades of Grey tickets are booked for the weekend with two very naughty friends.. you know who you are! So that’s the sex covered this weekend (on screen). Valentine’s Day this year is all about the one I love my gorgeous and amazing 9 year old daughter who is proving herself to be a very caring, intelligent and perceptive young lady, I aim to be the same in return.

It is time to accept that in life pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional and embrace the fact that this is my time. Downloaded some fab new tunes and am free to enjoy playing them very loud on my new Sonos system, which I have to say sounds amazing and has saved many a down moment by filling the house with the beauty of good music. Yet to decide on dinner which will be all my own choice too hooray.

Not all positive though… not impressed putting out the rubbish in the rain every week and am seriously sick of washing up.. but I accept this is something I cannot change. Its not fun waking up every morning on your own without a cuddle, this has now been substituted for a hot water bottle….

This is a quote my dad has always told me:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference – Reinhold Niebuhr

I am able to now define my own life, be myself and not endure the criticism and expectations of others, its my life and I intend to live it my way, I will love others and be loved. For all those out their lucky to be in love enjoy everyday like its Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to tell each other how important you are to each other, and show it. If you need to ask someone if they love you and their response is ‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you‘ hear alarm bells…

Fifty shades here I come…

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