Archives for the month of: August, 2015

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This week the battle lines will be drawn, I will find out all about my enemy and plan my attack ¬†the appointments are booked and the treatments will begin. I will do my duty and dedicate myself wholly to the cause and get back later with the missions progress….

The word ‘cancer’ has frightened a lot of people it has a bad reputation and a negative attitude. It does have a positive side though it reminds us how much we love the people around us and how important it is to be loved and happy, all the small stuff doesn’t matter, the daily stresses lose their priority and the power of a smile can turn around any situation. Watching a film on the sofa whilst the washing up sits in the sink doesn’t make me feel the slightest bit guilty. I also took the new shoes out for a gorgeous lunch on Saturday and only nearly fell over 3 times. (Not due to alcohol may I add but a lack of exposure to heels!!!)

The moments of happiness We enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them but they seize us” Ashley¬†Montagu

It is well known that when one part of your life falls apart another will dramatically improve and this is true the rest of my life continues to skip merrily along its new path. After a weeks holiday in a caravan bonding with my daughter we have developed a new mutual respect for each other realising how much we have both grown this year and need one another. We both have feelings and emotions and it’s important we care and look out for each other, I’m probably still an annoying mum but suddenly I’m not so bad after all! Just don’t mention bedtime or the mess in her bedroom…

My ex husband has taken my news hard understandably as he also lived through this 9 years ago with me and has also realised that all the small stuff doesn’t matter anymore, most of it anyway. Potentially this wake up call that will keep us in a much more reasonable and amicable direction, it is possible to treat each other more positively and get on with the lives we chose. I’m not nieve though it’s a fine line and it wouldn’t take much to tip the balance the wrong way but time will tell if we can get it right. For now I appreciate one less stress in life.

One unexpected development in my life this year has been to meet a man who exceeds my expectations every time I see him and has shown me a level of care and affection that I had long forgotten existed. I love having a new journey to enjoy, despite all the other stuff going on we still find ourselves giggling and feeling loved which I am very thankful for.

However one not so successful part of the school holidays is my waistline!! Out for lunch, dinner, fish and chips at the seaside, picnic food, bbq’s, ice cream over the park. My daughters holiday diet of nuggets and chips has come to an end, no excuses now, Time to fill the fridge with fruit. Did someone mention a takeaway? Oh and meeting mums for lunch on Thursday, Oh dear doesn’t look like much chance of a healthy lifestyle this week either, when school starts back then but it’s my daughters birthday weekend… Oh crap my halo is well and truly slipping……

Where did I put my bike…. And that apple!

Enjoy the holidays

A xxx

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imageForget the boring rubbish today I’m not interested I’m going to spoil myself and be greedy, selfish… The toys have left the pram no one is gonna stop me….

I am gonna buy those shoes that I saw yesterday that I can’t justify I am not going to clean the fish tank, I am sitting on my sofa this afternoon with ‘Outlander’ now that I have finally caught up with the rest of the world and discovered Amazon prime on the smart TV.

This morning I am starting with indulging in all my less than attractive qualities and yes that would be best described as grumpy with sadness thrown in for good measure. I spoke to my oncologist last night and the results are in it is confirmed that my cancer has returned after 9 years, I am less than amused! Best throw in angry and pissed off too.

a biopsy will confirm which treatments they want to give me but looks like this will be long term hobby, time to play the dutiful part-time patient again. It’s been a long time since I was here and surprisingly I feel stronger this time my life is in a good place, there are now many positive distractions showing me this will not takeover and consume my life this time.

Get through today and then that’s enough sulking nobody likes a winger back to life and I will be doing all those treats and trips and dinners and excuses for fun that normally you can not justify or even just having an excuse to down tools. I think it would be a good start to actually get out of bed first though once this post is done…

My emotions are spent I do not comprehend which way they are going today my brain hurts, who knows how the people around me even start to understand this roller coaster. One medicine I am sure of is the power of love and touch. Knowing you are cared about makes all the difference, the hugs, flowers, the cake, the best wishes all put a big smile back on my face and I feel indulged and spoilt thanks.

I have one final emotion to deal with one of the most important women in my world… My mum who lost her battle and died over 17 years ago of secondary bone cancer she was my world and my rock. Words do not describe how much I miss you, even more so today.

Enough now back to the real world I have shoes to buy and really need to feed the cat!!! nails book for 11… Spoil me it is then. You can’t keep a good girl down for long…

Love always

Angela

xx

Help! I'm a stay-at-home mum

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ovaryandout

Great highs, the depths of the lows and why at age 7 do I still have to remind my daughter to say please!

Great highs, the depths of the lows and why at age 7 do I still have to remind my daughter to say please!

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