18 years ago on this very morning I lost the love of my life… My Mum. A life gone, cruelly cut short too soon leaving a big hole in my heart. It’s now 18 years on and my life has changed beyond recognition from that day. My degree, my career, 3 homes, 1 marriage,  1 daughter, 2 cancers, 1 cat, 1 divorce, and much more in between.

She has missed a lot in her life and mine making me realise never take somebody you love for granted, it is not guaranteed they will always be by your side. My memories are happy rather than painful now, a childhood that I felt loved, happy, confident and safe.  The Birthday’s and Christmas times she created, her 40th birthday party and the ants eating her cake on the dining room table the next day.  I remember the note she left in my pack lunch on my first school trip, our first family caravan holiday when myself and my sister spent the two weeks with chicken pox and she swore she would never set foot in a caravan again.

There are certain times in my life that I miss her to talk to, yes all the obvious ones of course but its navigating life and the everyday stuff that you know she would of understood what to do as only mums can. I watch my daughter at 10 as she hits her teenage phase and one minute she loves me, then I’m so embarrassing, why don’t I do exactly what she wants? so then she hates me, how could I possibly understand her? This does make me giggle it’s scary how much she is like me at that age and how much I have turned into my mother, I have learned many lessons from my daughter and carry on to try and understand how children work as other Mums before me.

When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn. Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.”
― Greg Mortenson, Writer

The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds Channel 4 (wk07)..... L-R Oliver and Luke

Photo: Katie Hyams                                                  The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds                            Channel 4

I will do my best, I won’t always get it right but I will try. That unconditional love between a parent and child is always there even if you can’t always be together but is worth it for those times that you are.

In Loving memory of my Mum (1949-1998)

Thank you

Love Angela xx