Archives for the month of: April, 2016

image

I am reminded of that song that says ‘the DJ saved my life’. After my recent dramatic brush with a&e (which was ok in the end) I was left feeling very bruised emotionally, like those around me. Love does funny things to you when it’s given something heavy to deal with especially when you add in the ‘c’ word. I needed an escape, a distraction something good.

I’m laying here in my usual writing spot, in bed at silly hours listening to Adele. She is my ‘Dj that saved my life’. December last year I spent hours via the iPad/phone and computer in an online waiting room trying to get tickets to see Adele at the o2, and I was lucky to. After what seems like forever the date finally arrived last week and typically Mr H had man flu and I was 3 days out of hospital. There was no question hit the drugs cupboard we were on the train and not missing this under any circumstances.

Sitting in the audience waiting the sense of excitement and anticipation is infectious, 2 lighting engineers are abseiled up to their spotlights high up in the gods above our heads and I have no idea how anyone could do that job. The audience falls silent someone has spotted something, a head starts to appear coming up from the middle of the stage, she starts with ‘Hello‘ and the crowd roars, me included. We have amazing seats only 10 rows from the front, I have waited so long to get here I sit on the edge of my seat with wide eyes and love every second.

There is so much emotion in her singing it feels personal, she finds a cancer survivor in the audience and invites her on stage for a big hug and a selfie. Another young girl has made a big poster and everyone laughs when she says can I keep this and the young girl says no, Time for another selfie. Stories continue between songs about her pink thong and lots of her trademark colourful language to go with it, her personality shines through she connects with her audiences and is clearly relaxed. We are told her glass of wine is ready backstage to celebrate her last night, meanwhile on stage she stands there with her mug of hot honey and lemon.

The production is equally impressive especially when ‘set fire to the rain’ Is sung inside a cage of falling rain.

image

Her voice is faultless and powerful throughout, the night went too quickly every song a new favourite, the night ends on a climax with ‘Rolling in the deep’ and paper confetti released over our heads. Like a kid at a wedding I’m grabbing the air to catch as many as I can each one is printed with a handwritten message.

‘ throw your soul through every open door’

and ‘thank you for coming’ no thank you for inspiring me, the last few weeks is definitely, ‘water under the bridge’. It’s my new bedtime favourite to remind me to brush life off and move on. Part one of 40th birthday celebrations done.

Enjoy the sunshine

Love always

Angela xx

Advertisements

image

I’ve been struggling to write my blog this last month, how to pitch it, what to share, what I say? Until I saw a recent blog titled ‘write like no one’s watching’ when I realised this blog is my thoughts and feelings whatever they are, not always funny or thoughtful sometimes grumpy and just the way they are. Don’t be too selective or worry about what image I portray just tell it how it is, chat as though I am talking to a friend.

There comes a point in life when you have to stop reading other people’s books and write your own” Albert Einstein
The last month I have been surviving at home without a boiler in a kind of camping stay cation, with our blankets, hot water bottles and lots of heaters. Laying on the rug in front of the log burner with blankets watching the flames with Mr H and the girls wrapped up on the sofa watching films and even the cat finding her hot spot too,has been an opportunity to spend cosy times together and warm each other. We have at one point even toasted marshmallow’s on it. There has been some competition over who starts the best fire, turn’s out it’s quite the natural instinct to want to create fire.

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses” Edith Sodergran

When the first engineer came out, I answered the door to be greeted by a jolly , ‘it’s chilly out here today!’ I knew then my sense of humour was not going to last long as I stood their in 4 layers of clothes. Thanks to the lovely girl at Npower who spoke to her manager for me a grant helped us to quickly defrost with a brand new boiler. It’s amazing how cold your walls can get with no heating for 6 weeks and how long it takes to get them warm again (about 4 days for future reference).

Watching my daughter’s school play about World War II It does make you realise our generation are so lucky in this country not to be living during Wartime, I can’t even remember the last time there was a power cut. It puts my comments about my boiler into some perspective, not to mention having to evacuate my daughter on a two day school trip. I cannot imagine how parents did it back then for even longer? I wouldn’t fancy living on rations either but I have just had a hospital lunch and I don’t think there’s was much difference.

My cancer was feeling left out it had become more settled even improved a little, it was no longer the centre of my attention. I lay here writing this in Queen’s hospital my neck has hurt a lot the last two days and my oncologist doesn’t like it she has brought me in overnight for an urgent scan to check it. My daughter came in to see me with the little best mum teddy I love along with my partner and his daughter they all packed me an overnight bag with a cheeky flake in their too! Love and Chocolate fixes everything. Sleeping here would of been ok except for the noises through the night from the other three beds which can only compare to the noises in “The Walking Dead” I know I’m being mean, they are are elderly but no sleep makes you really grumpy. I’ve had a lovely chat with Bertha next to me this morning from Wales who turns out also has cancer and is clearly worse off than me so now I feel guilty thinking that.

Some results are back no immediate emergencies and I can go home, just something else causing trouble this month. Cancer is not a fun process it brings out all different emotions in people and lots of questions there are not always answers to.

This angel has lost some of her sparkle this month for sure but it’s the beginning of April and the sun is shining again. Spring has always been my favourite season with the new tulips and daffodils, the clocks have gone forward, the evenings are getting lighter and leaves are starting to grow on the trees, positive is coming back. Even more positive I turn 40 at the end of the month, it’s a chance to regain some fun and i have much celebrating to do. Unlike many others who dread turning 40 and look back at a past decade I cannot wait to reach a new one. It’s will be 10 years ago I started my cancer journey, another big milestone to be thankful for.

I decided last year to mark this by embarking on 40 random acts of kindness of all different sizes to complete by the time I am 40. A chance to give back and brighten someone’s day. Only I am running out of time now it Looks like I’m gonna be very caring in the next few weeks… I still have 18 to go!

But I make no promises my time keeping has never been the best. 😜

Love Always

Angela xx

 

 

Help! I'm a stay-at-home mum

Be inspired, fulfilled and hold your heads high, stay-at-home mums!

ovaryandout

Great highs, the depths of the lows and why at age 7 do I still have to remind my daughter to say please!

Great highs, the depths of the lows and why at age 7 do I still have to remind my daughter to say please!

%d bloggers like this: