Well I’ve been 40 for exactly two weeks now and I’m really not sure how I am supposed to feel about this. If the weather was any kind of sign with the hurricane style winds and rain then bright  sunshine in between I have a feeling it’s going to be dramatic, with lots of ups and downs. I don’t feel much different and lots of people are genuinely shocked, they say I look younger than 40. I have no crows feet or grey hairs,  I’m not the size 10 I was at the age of thirty but I look ok. If so many say it they can’t be lying right???

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. – Aldous Huxley

I would embark on my mid-life crisis but I think that began when I got cancer ten years ago! I started my second course of chemo tabs today and Along with a cocktail of other drugs It’s no surprise I’m not ageing, I think I am being preserved for the future (hopefully).

10 years on from my original cancer diagnosis I am very excited to reach this milestone. One fab big 40 balloon from my daughter, bunting, birthday cards, too many presents to mention, flowers, dinner, amazing cake, disco lights and a party full of friends and family tick, tick, tick.

I love the chance to be spoilt, Birthday’s, Christmas, Mother’s Day but I also realise the most important part, the thing we remember most is the love of our friends and family. The thoughtful gestures and experiences, big hugs with childhood friends I haven’t seen for ages, blowing out candles while everyone sings Happy Birthday.


Thick stripes, no thin, maybe one thick and two thin everything in three’s. Spots on the top layer, no stars to match the forty cake topper and ribbon around the bottom of each cake alternating with the mid-pink and the brown. Start with white icing at the top and then light pink with a mid pink at the bottom keeping the colours in the right order. I have to say a 10-year-old with access to google images makes for an ambitious cake. One perfectionist, a creative daughter and the helper also with a scary eye for attention to detail and my 40th birthday cake is born.

Birthday’s are natures way of telling us to eat more cake” Jo Brand

Where has the time gone, I’m not cured but am surviving and of course celebrating… I use the ‘life’s too short’ excuse but that’s not very mindful in my case and you can see people’s faces drop when I say it as they think my life may be just that. My bank balance does not appreciate my less careful attitude towards spending these days either, it’s a no go for our plans to fly due to the chemo and stubborn progress of my health so that’s one saving. Other exciting birthday plans do however need enjoying for now and ‘you only live once!’ Oh no there I go again….

I applied the same attention to detail to my cake as I did choosing my birthday present with Mr H and took ages…. With the matching earrings to complete the look I say?? How could he possibly say no 😘. We got our ‘Love Actually‘ moment and our very own Rowan Atkinson style assistant at the jewellery counter with special gift wrapping And a bow, but instead of the lavender this time I got a bottle of champagne! Which annoyingly I cannot drink right now but my sister-in-law bought me a chocolate champagne bottle instead and this certainly is allowed.


As we sat outside in the gorgeous warm sunshine the morning after my party eating pancakes on my new birthday patio furniture watching the girls enjoy the last hour on the bouncy castle from the night before I remember thinking I like the way this decade is starting. Now life is getting back to reality, the flowers are past there best, the decorations need to come down and a parking ticket landed on my doorstep yesterday.

But what am I saying ‘life begins at….’ I’m 40 for a whole year and the sun is shining, the Isle of Wight is calling and I need to have my friend over for lunch in return for making my cake and enjoy another spa night with my daughter 😀😀.

Thank you for all making me feel indulged, spoilt and loved.

Love always