Archives for posts with tag: love

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“Not one damn thing, really,” says Kate Matthews, a breast cancer survivor and cartoonist, “but whenever I need to feel lifted away from the fear, horror and pain of breast cancer, humor is the first place I turn.”

The journey is tough, the road is long, life very much takes on a sink or swim attitude. Much like grieving for a loved one it isn’t something you ever really get over or forget, it just gets easier with time. If you get through it the experience makes you stronger, this is different for everyone. In the same way that no two cancers are the same, everyone’s recovery is different. It may seem inappropriate to laugh at the subject but it helped me to step out of the seriousness of the situation and get a break.

I remembering texting my friends when I first received the bad news and now 8 years on the only response I remember is a chat I had with a friend about now we could organise a ‘wig’ party and how we could do it.

Sadly so many people have had contact with this disease in some way or another, remember it doesn’t rain forever, day always follows night. Most importantly if life is difficult it doesn’t mean you can’t laugh, its just easier some days than others. Don’t be afraid to get back up and try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile.

For all those loved ones lost and those of us surviving on ‘World Cancer Day‘  xxx

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At the beginning of every Year I get a feel of the direction the year will be going… This year it is a sense of change, of soul searching and a search for inner peace.

I have been fighting for 8 years now, first the breast cancer surgery then the chemotherapy, radiotherapy, hormone therapy, more surgery, seizure, coma, more medication, panic attacks, anxiety and so on…. I am now feeling battle weary and am ready for a break. As dramatic as it all sounds it is what it is. Unfair but it all happens as it is supposed to, you accept it and patiently wait while you hopefully head towards recovery putting your well being in the hands of others. You don’t know the outcome and as such do not assume everything will be ok.

I have throughout assumed that my marriage would be ok I expected ups and downs and hard times  but in the past year the cancer battle has been overtaken by the realisation that we are not ok. My husband walked out 3 weeks before christmas his parting words to our daughter were “mummy and daddy are not get on”. I am writing this blog the night before I have agreed to go to a counselling session at which after a month of maybe/maybe not thoughts and experiences I have no idea which way tomorrow will go.

Is cancer to blame? Are we both battle weary? Why are we not closer after everything we have been through? Have we both been so busy keeping life going over the last eight years that for whatever reason, illness, money, time or tiredness we have taken our eyes off the prize and as such our foundations have collapsed.

Are we at the point of no return I cannot answer this for my husband. I know I have no fight left in me anymore and am not prepared to just exist together. We both agree on one thing we want to be happy, appreciated and loved, is this together? I may find out tomorrow or time will tell. For now my priority is my daughter and our health and well being.

One positive from this is finding out how many people have your best interest at heart. It is true you find out who your friends are in a crisis, true, honest, strong friendships are a blessing and should be treasured with all the love you can muster.

‘Life has a lot of grey and sadness – look for that rainbow and frame it. There is beauty in everything, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it’ Charlotte Kitley 

Bob Hoskins life lessons relevant to us all…

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Quite often my blog is written about my own experiences, thoughts and opinions. However sometimes you come across the words of another which touch your life and relate to your world so much you would like to also share them. Particularly the ‘life lessons’ written by the late Bob Hoskins to his daughter which she has shared on Twitter/Facebook in the last few days. I lost my mum at the age of 21 to Breast Cancer and to this day I carry her words and love with me and appreciate every bit.

My daughter is now 8 and I feel my most important job as a parent is to encourage her to become a happy, confident, independent young girl hopefully ‘lady’ but if she takes after her mother this may be an ambition too far! Trying the best that I can to set a good example, I think 80% of the time is probably a good realistic aim…

Here are a few of Bob Hoskins words that touched me,”words spoke so often to encourage, comfort and reassure”:

Laugh. There’s humour to be found everywhere, even your darkest days there’s something to have a joke about.

Be yourself. If someone doesn’t like you they’re either stupid, blind, or they’ve got bad taste. Accept who you are, you’ve got no one else to be.

Don’t worry about other people’s opinions. Everyone’s a critic, but ultimately what they say only matters if you let it.

Whatever you do, always give it a good go. Don’t be afraid of failure and disappointment.

Never, ever, ever, ever give up. Keep on punching no matter what your up against.

Love with all your heart. In the end, love is the only thing that matters.

The full text is available on HauteHoskins.com

Too often we get wrapped up in life and its worries, until events in our personal lives make us realise what is really important.. to love others, ourselves and feel loved…

 

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Breakfast will be in Bed. FAIL

I shall be supplied with flowers and a thoughtful card.TICK

All choices today are mine. TBC

I will be doing no jobs or chores.TICK

There will be no consideration towards healthy eating today. TICK

The sun must be shining. TICK

I am right all day. TBC

I shall spend a fun day with my family. PLANNED

I shall be loved all day….. OF COURSE

I wil be the most helpful and attentive wife and mother all day?

For all mums young, old, past and present HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

Help! I'm a stay-at-home mum

Be inspired, fulfilled and hold your heads high, stay-at-home mums!

ovaryandout

Great highs, the depths of the lows and why at age 7 do I still have to remind my daughter to say please!

Great highs, the depths of the lows and why at age 7 do I still have to remind my daughter to say please!

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